Most individuals who want children plan out all the details (as if they control it) WELL before it ever happens. For example, how they’re children should look, how they’ll act, what activities they’ll participate in, etc.
Imagine entering the Build-a-infant shop and picking and choosing personality traits, talents, physical features, strengths, weaknesses…all the qualities that will make the “perfect” child.
“I want my baby to have your eyes” – Drake (“Finesse” on Scorpion)
I fall victim of this far too many times. No I don’t have children and in no shape or form am I ready to have children at this very moment, but I can’t deny the fact that I have baby fever wayyy too often, mainly due to the endless cute videos and photos floating up and down my social media timeline.
I imagine what he/she would look like, if they’d be a writer like me, what they’re favorite food would be, or if they’d be funny and have an endless personality to light up the room.
As the cuteness surface of babies laughing, saying funny (“too grown”) comments, and matching outfits with their parents…I also can’t help but to realize that having children isn’t ALL glamorous and it’s nothing like playing house or barbie dolls.
Your children are actually human beings and their livelihood is placed in your hands. THAT’S A BIG DEAL because they didn’t ask to be here and you have a responsibility to make them as safe, educated, and independent as possible. However, the truth is when raising Black children in an Anti-Black Trump Society…it’s hard to ensure safety.
I can’t help but to think about sitting my daughter down one day to tell her that she has to protect herself from people who do not value or love her the way she deserves to be loved, for she is a queen who should always be treated as such! I’d tell her that she is beautiful just the way that she is no matter what anyone says and that she does not need validation from anyone or anything else. I’d inform her that being a Black woman is a double edged sword and that it is important to love yourself FIRST, value your self-worth, be intellectually powerful, and know that nothing worth having ever comes easy.
I can’t help but to think about sitting down my son and painfully informing him that he is a threat to society, but he is the most beautiful thing in the word. I’d have to show him cases of Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, and the several other Black men who lost their lives too soon. CRIME = BEING BLACK! I’d tell him that he must walk around the world being mindful of his Blackness, while simultaneously being unapologetically Black. I’d tell him to always use wisdom, follow his dreams, and be a leader!
The job of a parent is never done. It’s a daily role that you have for the entirety of your life from day one. There is no such thing as a part-time parent. You either succeed in the job or you fail, but keep in mind whatever you do sticks with your child for the entirety of their lives and you have the power to make or break them.
Not to mention, the constant thought and worry of something happening to one of your children or listening to the hurt and pain that they may encounter one day is undeniably scary. It’s hard knowing that no matter what you tell them…they still have to live throughout the world on their own and make their own decisions.
As a “millennial”, the thought of having children is a scary thought, but my advice to anyone is to make sure you’re ready for the job and remember its not always glamourous! It’s a huge responsibility and your child trusts YOU, so you don’t ever want to let them down.
Image: Photo by nappy from Pexels